Self-Defense against Trauma
Getting hurt happens because, somewhere deep within, we are attached to certain expectations. People around us, with the exception of those who truly love us unconditionally, will act according to their own agendas. Their intention is not always connected to hurting anyone, but to fulfill their part of the drama game on Earth.
However, this is not only related to what others can do to us. It is also related to circumstantial situations. For example, someone from Sweden is more likely to gladly swim in cold seawater, while someone from Bahrain may reject the idea, being used to temperate seawater. Its not the water’s fault, and yet, it can affect people in different ways. A Nordic person may not get sick, while a Middle Easterner is more likely to.
Trauma is the direct result of not being prepared mentally, emotionally or physically.
A Story of Collateral Damages
When I was a student, I attended a fascinating course on civil law. The course was very interesting, mainly because our teacher would provide us with real-life case scenarios, making us think them through rather than just applying the theoretical laws. I share below one case I remember well:
A ten-year old child is playing with a ball in an apartment located on the 10th floor of a building. The child is supervised by an adult, a nanny hired by the parents. By mistake, the child shoots the ball through an open window. The ball falls down ten stories, landing directly on the windscreen of a moving car. The driver’s reaction is to suddenly push the brakes, The car behind it, given no time to react, crashes violently into the halted car, causing the sudden death of its driver.
Who is to blame? The nanny, the kid, the driver who’s car got hit by the ball, or the driver who died because he crashed into the car in front?
This might be a complicated example, but isn’t it the same in life? We constantly look for who to blame for our traumas.
Abducted by Aliens
Imagine you have been abducted by aliens and teleported to another galaxy. You are alone, living on a planet with no other humans. You have everything you need to survive, but you cannot communicate with anyone except your inner self.
The only person who carries the drama from Earth is you. Take a few minutes to reflect on your life, especially on the moments that created different levels of traumatic experiences.
How does it look, now that you are not directly involved anymore? All attachments are illusions we believe to be real.
A Tai Chi Approach on Trauma
One of the core values of Tai Chi is to practice relaxation. This allows us to be relaxed when an attack comes, and be able to deflect it while being alert. Complete relaxation can only be achieved through total detachment. In a way, detachment means a perfect balance between Yin and Yang, which is the main purpose of Internal Martial Arts. ‘Push Hands’ is a Tai Chi practice that is done with a partner. It is also a great way to visualize the concept of Doing and Not-Doing.
A very subtle and detailed view on this concept is to capture the moment between the acceptance of an attack and its deflection in the desired direction (usually so fast, it is invisible to the naked eye).
One thing to consider is momentum. Sometimes, the momentum is too strong, and we do not have enough time to react or understand what is happening. When we drive too fast, it becomes harder to avoid accidents. When we live too fast, its more difficult to avoid drama.
Detachment through Acceptance
Although it might sound like a paradox, one of many paths of detachment is to accept what happens to us without judgment and without opposing it. When we fight, we are in survival mode. The best fighter wins. But there is another way to approach an attach, by absorbing it completely.
In the Matrix Trilogy, the main character fights the artificial intelligence which seeks to obtain total control over the world. Only after he becomes wise enough, in the third part of the trilogy, Neo understands that full acceptance is the only way to win against his opponent. Metaphorically speaking, we may do the same in life, by accepting our fate and becoming wiser, trauma-free. When we are fearless, it is virtually impossible to get hurt.
From Bad to Worse
The way we measure our world is based solely on comparisons with a frame of reference. Having 10,000 Euros in our bank account can make us rich in comparison with someone earning 50 euros a month in a poor country, or poor when comparing with a millionaire. Our 10,000 Euro bank account can make us either happy or miserable, depending on what we compare it to.
The main frames of reference are our own belief systems. To be free of inner conflict and expectations is to give other people in our life the greatest freedom. It allows us to experience the basic nature of the universe, which is to manifest the greatest good possible outcome in any situation. This may sound philosophical, but when done, it is experientially true.
A Practical Way to Detach from Emotional Trauma
We are electromagnetic beings. Emotions are a form of electricity. When an emotion manifests (felt in the body), we are suddenly charged with electricity. Each emotion has a different value of vibration, but this is not the subject of discussion in this article. We are only talking about the electrical charge present in the body now. In the same way that most electrical appliances in your kitchen have an electrical earthing wire that grounds to the Earth, we can also ground our emotions.
If we apply the same principle of earthing our bodies, we may flow the emotional charges into the ground, to maintain a state of peace instead of holding on to trauma.