The perception we have of ourselves is greatly influenced by how others view us as unique people. The way we are treated while we are young is quite important. As we become older, we seek validation wherever we can. We require this “vitamin” (vitamin=validation) in order to survive. We get dependent on it, and we’ll do just about everything to get our hands on it.
Everyone craves love and attention. Despite how tough we may think we are, we are emotional beings who need love and care to thrive. Our personality’s fragility is both a blessing and a curse. It’s dangerous to assess everything through comparison, especially when you’re around individuals who are ignorant of the topic.
Self-Harming for Attention
It is not an accident if you are regularly experiencing pain. Of course, you can claim that it was an accident and dismiss it.
Since you know that our method (Ki Train Method) is inclined towards practicality rather than a philosophical approach, I thought it would be appropriate to define some real- life examples, for a better understanding.
The Sacrifice Syndrome
Does “mothership” imply “sacrifice”? After all, she is giving life a new purpose. Being a man in this lifetime prevents me from having a profound knowledge of how a mother feels during childbirth. Only moms who have experienced this may completely understand the severe childbirth pain. I honor all mothers, starting with my own and extending to all women worldwide.
Although what I’m about to say doesn’t apply to all mothers, I’m going to assume that the percentage is high based on my study and observations. There is a widespread perception that combines the idea of motherhood with the notion of sacrifice. Even if I am willing to embrace this notion, I am on a clear route to encouraging others to accelerate their own healing. Therefore, some mothers need a wake-up call.
How much of a sacrifice is acceptable? I’ll provide a few instances from recent experience.
Despite suffering from back pain, Mother A keeps carrying heavy bags every day. She has two children (14 and 17 years old) that could assist her, but she chooses to do all if this while complaining about her back pain every day. Choice of a victim asking for validation of being a hero mum.
Mother B would sacrifice everything for her children, even her leisure activities, reading, and free time. Everyday fatigue will eventually lead to illness. Even being sick would not stop her, though; she would continue bragging about what a great mother she is and how she gave up everything for her children.
The Fitness Fanatic
Oh my, this is huge! I ran into a lot of fitness freaks. They work out until they pass out. No pain, no gain is their sole guiding principle. But they go too far, hurting themselves. They never let themselves recover, take a break, or relax. Some make a huge deal out of their way of life and continue to suffer because, in their own minds, this is what fitness should be. They disregard their health in favor of admiration from others.
The Price of Validation
Like food, water, sleep, and other essentials, validation is a basic need. When we are truly hungry, we will find a way to eat. Anywhere will do for a nap when truly exhausted. Validation is not different. We would develop strategies to acquire it from someone, and hey! Some will pay the price in pain, if that is what is takes. The question remains: Is there an alternative to misery?
Five Strategies for Self-Validation
Improve Your Body Posture
Powerful stances and poses mean more than they seem. A powerful breathing pattern will be followed by a strong body posture, which will provide the physical foundation for our sense of self-assurance.
Genuinely Encourage Others
A strong healing activity is honoring other people. Every chance we get, we should attempt to see the good in others. Everyone you come into contact with, including your neighbors, coworkers, a waiter, a housekeeper, the pharmacy receptionist, seeks validation.
Some people are blind to their own greatness. Help let them discover themselves. Mark my words! Validation will come back to you in the most surprising ways..
Commit 6 Months Pursuing a Hobby
In six months you could become an expert. While commitment for 6 months daily is not an easy task, a hobby usually implies enjoyment, so shouldn’t be impossible to achieve. What will likely happen next is that your expertise will be noticed. You will start getting validated by others.
Improve Your Muscular Strength
What does the muscle have to do with confidence, you might wonder. My answer is simple: Quite a lot! Your strength and power are conveyed also through your muscles. Strengthening your muscles will give you more power, which will boost your confidence.
My favorite mentor of all times – Antony Robbins said once: “Gratitude does not allow other emotions to arise”. Being grateful prevents us from feeling irritated, frustrated or even sad.
Close your eyes and allow your mind to wander. After a minute, take a deep breath and think about something for which you are grateful. Just be totally honest. Feel the energy of gratitude.
Place both of your palms on your chest. Give your heart your entire attention while you feel genuinely grateful. Perform this exercise every night before going to bed for at least 7 days. The universal patterns of gratitude will be reprogrammed. Someone will notice the new pattern and identify it in your universe. Be on the lookout for hints! Have fun!